


Human Error

by vulcansmirk



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:54:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcansmirk/pseuds/vulcansmirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some notes on the John-POV bits I noticed during the first part of "His Last Vow".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Error

**Human Error: glimpses of John’s thoughts in HLV**

Just a few quick observations from “His Last Vow” because I’m thinking about it and I can’t sleep.

I’ve seen it argued by more than one person that the whole of s3 is very Sherlock-centric in terms of point of view. I won’t argue against that. However, I think that saying s3 tells a story  _exclusively_  from Sherlock’s perspective is a little inaccurate, and I say that because of the first half hour or so of HLV.

After the prologue sequence with Magnussen and Lady Smallwood, and after the opening titles, we literally start out in John’s head as he’s dreaming. He’s lying next to Mary, presumably in his new home as a married man (a presumption which within minutes is confirmed), and he’s dreaming of his time in Afghanistan. We’ve seen this before; “A Study in Pink” opened this way, and it was set just after he’d returned from the war, showing us how badly he was adjusting to civilian life. Now again we see John adjusting badly to a normal life, even though it’s a life he’s chosen for himself.

Next thing to pop up in John’s dreams is Sherlock. Specifically, the first time Sherlock ever drew John into one of his cases. We’ve seen this before too, this parallel between the work and the war: “Most people blunder about this city and all they see are streets and shops and cars… When you walk with Sherlock Holmes, you see the battlefield.”

So we see John settling into his new life, dreaming of past excitement. And then the neighbor knocks, saying her son’s missing again, and John runs off to a drug den to retrieve him. I think what Sherlock playfully hinted at was exactly right: this is John the addict, looking for his fix. (“It is a tiny bit sexy.” Oh god, yes it is.) And, in spite of all John’s (justified!) anger at Sherlock for reverting back to bad habits, Sherlock gives him his fix, a shiny new case to solve, and John is relieved.

Hang on, let’s back up slightly. The drive back to Baker Street. The argument between Sherlock and Mycroft. Did anyone else notice how  _comfortable_  John looked during that scene? I mean, the snark, the scolding. That’s confidence. He feels comfortable here because he knows exactly where he stands in relation to Sherlock. Drugs bad, concerned friends and family good. Must get my unruly friend back on track. This is familiar territory.

And then, after Sherlock introduces his case and gives that little line to recruit John, we get this:

A placid look and a little smile (from both of them, but we’re talking about John now, stop that).

And then directly after that, we get the funny little sequence with Janine, and John blundering around his old home looking confused because everything is in the wrong place and everybody’s names are wrong (“Mike,” “Sherl”) and  _Sherlock has a woman in our flat._  We go from comfortable John to a John who’s distinctly and decidedly  _not comfortable at all._  

(I cracked up getting all these screenshots. Martin Freeman, you are a treasure. Also, can I take this moment to point out the little rattle as Janine opens the door to Sherlock’s room? Might that be the jingle-jangle of handcuffs?)

He can’t stop raising the subject even when Sherlock pointedly diverts the conversation elsewhere, even after she leaves. This is important to him. He’s having to rewrite Sherlock’s whole personality in his head, because before now his idea of Sherlock didn’t include the possibility of a serious relationship, and definitely not a sexual one, as this appears to be (and we know from the conversation between Sherlock and Janine in the hospital that it never got physical, but to John: sleeping in his shirt, walking in on him in the bath… the assumption is an easy one to make).

So first we’ve got the Sherlock John knows, the one he knows exactly how to deal with, and then we jump straight to a Sherlock who is entirely foreign to John, and one he has no idea what to do with.

Fast-forward now to Magnussen’s elevator. As soon as John hears Janine’s voice on the intercom, he knows something is fishy. And then we all noticed the one truly remarkable thing Sherlock did:

And guess what? John noticed too:

That look to me says two things. The first is that this explains Sherlock’s behavior perfectly — he’s not  _really_ in love with Janine, he did it all for a case. The second is that this might be the lowest John has ever seen Sherlock go. This might be the worst thing John’s ever seen Sherlock do. He never expected Sherlock to be quite so heartless, not after all they’ve been through. On some level, he thought Sherlock was better. So this one moment both cinches John’s original idea of Sherlock and shatters it.

And then the best part, the part that inspired me to write this whole damn thing in the first place.

JOHN: Sherlock! She loves you!  
SHERLOCK: Yes. Like I said — human error.

And then we get a moment of silence accompanying this striking shot:

The elevator door closes, and the windows in the door show John and Sherlock pretty clearly, but there’s suddenly this barrier between them, and the glare hides Sherlock’s face, and John has this haunting expression on his face; he’s shocked, he’s confused, he’s wounded.

This shot, to me, says alienation. Even though seeing Janine with Sherlock had been jarring and confusing, it had allowed John to start hoping, just a little, that Sherlock really did have a heart, and on some level I believe John hoped that a small corner of that heart might be reserved for him. (Briefly, let me point out that when John dreamed of his time with Sherlock, he didn’t dream of the exciting bits — he dreamed of the first time Sherlock took him along, the first time Sherlock let him in.) But it turns out that Sherlock’s just as cold and heartless as ever.

Theory: Sherlock’s a bit jaded. He left the wedding early, having realized too late the true extent of his feelings for John, and after a while his resolve weakens, and he turns to drugs for his release. I think he must have known a man as smart as Magnussen wouldn’t consider narcotics his worst pressure point — he knows as much himself, and anyway even after Magnussen zeroes in on Redbeard as one of Sherlock’s major weaknesses Sherlock goes on to tell John that Magnussen “clearly thinks I’m a drug addict and thus not much of a threat.”

But John doesn’t see jaded. He sees alien. He sees untouchable. And that hurts him.


End file.
